The following is a transcription of The Art of Volunteering Episode 3: Delores Connors.
Stormy Bell: Hello, welcome to another episode of The Art of Volunteering. Today, we have one of my dear friends Dolores Connors. We’ve been friends for over 15 years and I can’t wait to hear her story of volunteering, both with organizations and on her own where she brings volunteers together. She is an educator. She’s an artist. She’s written her own books. Dolores, tell me about you. Let our listeners hear who you are.
Delores Connors: Yes, Stormy is absolutely right that we have been friends, dear friends for over 15 years. The funny thing is that our friendship started somewhat through volunteering, right? Both of our children who are in the Boy Scouts, and if we’ve ever been a Boy Scout mom, then you know that you show up to volunteer. Our friendship actually started that way so it brings us full circle to this work that we’re focusing on. So yes, my name is Dolores Connor. I live in Bergenfield, New Jersey, and I am a schoolteacher. I teach reading. I love teaching reading. It is something that I just enjoy. It brings me a lot of joy to be able to do and the work that I’m committed to with volunteering is surrounded around that because it brings me joy. I think all of us who volunteer all have the same unspoken commitment that there’s something about this that brings us joy to be able to do good for others, to be able to serve others, to be of service of a community where things are something more things are bigger than myself. That’s really important.
I grew up in New York, went to New York City public schools, went through colleges in New York City, Long Island University, NYU for a short period of time, Columbia for a short period of time and in New Jersey, Fairleigh Dickinson, and City College as well. I can’t leave out City College. All that education, all through that work, volunteering has been a major part of my life. Watching people volunteer, whether they show up to volunteer and help tutor a student, or whether it’s a university or college putting together a volunteer program where the students get to express themselves by doing something outside of their campus life.
Volunteering is really, it’s important. We need it. Anytime that there’s trouble in the world, it’s easier to look for the help. There’s trouble, there’s a problem, there’s an issues and concerns, and that doesn’t stop but anytime that we’re exposed to it, we can always look beyond and say you know what, someone’s going to come in and help. There will be help. I get to choose to be one of the people who help in my own way or a witness and, you know, appreciate the ones who do show up to help. So volunteering is overall a really good experience and practice for people.
I have written two books that I’m really proud of. Both self-published. Both dealing with disabilities. The first book, I Don’t Want to Go, deals with a young man. The topic is a young man, who’s transitioning from a mainstream class into a special education class. He’s reluctant to go into that new setting. The other one is super dear to my heart. It has to do with autism. It’s spoken through the eyes of a child just telling his mom that he loves her. It looks like a different experience than just being able to verbally express “I love you mom.” Just living and having that free spirit.
When I think about school settings, volunteers help a lot. They bring a lot to the school. They’re giving their time and their energy, and I see their energy because the volunteers come in with the burst of energy that some of us don’t have to and it’s just so special. When I think about social service agencies, the volunteers that are coming in and helping to support parents with what they need and it’s just all runs full circle.
A major organization that I belong to, that I volunteer in, and I try to help and assist with fundraising is Total Equity Now (TEN), we call it TEN. This is an organization that promotes literacy throughout Harlem, East and West Harlem. We support libraries and librarians. In New York City public schools, there are a lot of schools who unfortunately do not have a librarian in their school, so many do not even have a library. We try to bring awareness to that and try to support it as much as we can. That organization means a lot to me. My parents are from Harlem, they met in Harlem. Harlem is just a really special place. I love to volunteer and there is something about volunteering. It just feels like you’re showing up for the right reason. You know, this way that you feel when you’re out there, you’re early, you’re excited. You’re like, “Yes, what can I do?” Whoever’s running the program is just grateful to have support. So yeah, it’s wonderful.
Stormy Bell: For TENs, they do primarily community outreach into the schools and into, what other nonprofits bringing awareness? How does that work? How do you get your message out and how do you interact with the students?
Delores Connors: For Total Equity Now we do reach out to other nonprofit organizations, letting them know that we are here to support them with their literary needs. We do touch and reach to public school systems throughout New York, letting them know that the service that we provide of literacy support through the lending books and support in libraries and librarians that we’re there for them. Other ways that we promote is we do have a social media page that we’re starting to really pick up and give some energy to. You can find us on Total Equity Now through Instagram and Facebook. We’re in the process of trying to think of creative ways to fundraise because funds are important. You know, it’s nice to volunteer and show up, but there are some things that just need to be paid for.
Stormy Bell: Just require money. Yeah.
Delores Connors: We’re working on how to set out funding for the support and that’s pretty much where we’re at. The pandemic has had something of a hindrance on us being able to really get out there and promote, to have events that people get to show up to and you know, provide that in person interaction but we’re working on it. Google Total Equity Now, Facebook, Instagram, and you’ll see a little bit more about what we’re about and what we do.
Stormy Bell: Is there an opportunity for people to volunteer with you? Do you have space for volunteers?
Delores Connors: Absolutely. Every year we host a march. Once a year we travel from the east side of Harlem, the west side of Harlem and we kind of gather. It’s like this huge parade that just, you know, one group meets on the east, the other meets on the west and we kind of just merge together at a central location. Throughout that we do have volunteers that are walking with us, handing out literature just reminding and letting people know what we stand for. We definitely use volunteers for that. We host a wonderful book drive during the holiday month, and we get to select, sort, and send out those books. We definitely are always looking for volunteers to support with that as well.
Stormy Bell: Awesome. Now you do other things besides TENs, right? What else do you do?
Delores Connors: A social enterprise that I also love and is near and dear to my heart is Write to Matter. Write to Matter is a specialty greeting card for people who are dealing with the process of incarceration or loss. The greeting card is for that loved one, the family member or loved one, of someone who just lost someone dear to them. Now it’s a very soft space to tread because you are acknowledging that you are aware that someone is going through something very painful. For something that’s not very comfortable to go into someone’s business about if someone has been incarcerated or dealing with some kind of rehab situation. You don’t want to pry on someone’s business. You don’t want to infringe on anyone’s personal space, but at the same time you want to acknowledge someone’s hurt because you know that they are experiencing loss and it’s a loss that they don’t want to share out loud but you know that it’s there for them.
These greeting cards kind of say something for that family member. There’s also a green card in that line for students. The parents may be incarcerated, and they want to remain and have that relationship with that parent. It’s really about providing communication. That organization is near and dear to my heart. We have opportunities to volunteer during Mother’s Day. We’re going to be at Rikers Island, handing out cards and candy to everyone. Whether if it’s the CO on their way to work, whether it’s the bus driver who’s shuffling people to go visit someone, or if it’s the person visiting someone on Mother’s Day, however you showed up at that particular space, we want to say we’re there for you. It’s just an uncomfortable situation so if we can do give you a card and something sweet just to make that day a little bit more softer we want to do that. We have volunteers that come in for that. Then we’re also working on a project that we’re going to need volunteers for. It’s a dad and a Father’s Day project where we will be taping fathers, young and old, not just young, incarcerated fathers, reading a children’s book to their child and videotaping that. There’s some of the volunteerism that’s going to come in with that. Then for the past few years we’ve been in Governor’s Island just showcasing work from art, from prisons all throughout the United States and Canada. Sometimes we need volunteers to show up and just be there to be there. To explain the art pieces but just to be there for people and welcome them in and say, “Hello. This is a nice welcoming space.” Those are things that I’m connected to. Volunteerism is ingrained in them and it’s what makes it work.
Stormy Bell: For you personally, why do you volunteer? Why do you give of yourself to each of these three impactful organizations or opportunities? Like why, what in your heart want you to do this?
Delores Connors: It’s a good question and it’s very simple for me: because someone did it for me. I can think back to my own life and things that were meaningful to me. I watched somebody just give. Just give up themselves, give up their service. The Sunday school teacher doesn’t get paid to be the Sunday school teacher. She shows up out of her heart and she’s giving of service. That was my first example of watching someone give and how important it was, how seriously they took it, and how much I benefit from it. Women in my community would pull together a girl group [to] have us learn about nutrition and self-esteem, and those kinds of things. Those were women giving up their Saturdays just wanting us to be young women in my community to go out in the world and be as good as we can be.
That was their time. That was their service. They just gave. I witnessed other things where I’ve just seen the happiness on people’s faces when they’re volunteering. They just looked happy. I mean it was amazing. I was like, I like that look. I like that look of how that person is showing up, ready to be of service. For me personally, I’ve seen it throughout my own life, benefited from it. I just get to watch it now and it brings me a lot of joy.
Stormy Bell: That’s awesome. I know you do a lot. You are an extremely busy woman. What does that look like in your family? Like, do you bring your family in tow or are they like you go and do, and you tell us the stories. How does your support group look to encourage you while you do this volunteering? Because everyone has a different setup, I was just curious what yours looks like.
Delores Connors: It looks different at different times. Sometimes the family is they’re all down to go and support. Then sometimes it’s just support from a distance where they’re like “Rooting for you. Good luck with that.” That’s fine too. That part is just as important too. Because when we volunteer we are giving. We are taking ourselves away from something else. I’m fortunately at a time in my life right now where I don’t have a young person to have to tend to, so that allows me some time to be able to be flexible, to do what I like. But my family is 100% support of me being of service. That support looks differently. Like I said, it could be a head nod, a thumbs up, a big hug, or it could be do you need me to move this crate I’ll show up, but you know it just depends, but the support is there. I so appreciate that. Volunteers understand that their outside system is important too. When you have it allows you to be able to navigate in those spaces very comfortably. I’m glad you brought that up.
Stormy Bell: What do you, we already talked like, basically what’s most gratifying to you. What do you find is the most challenging part of being a volunteer or showing up in these spaces? What’s most challenging?
Delores Connors: Saying no.
Stormy Bell: Saying no.
Delores Connors: Saying no. Because you know that there’s a need, so it’s like how I not say yes to it? She needed me, but at the same time, you’re like wait did I over book myself? I just did this and that, so that I think is a challenge of just having the insight to know like what you can’t do. This just doesn’t work for me right now. Let me wish it to its best, but I can’t do that right now. Saying no is a bit of a challenge for me at times.
Stormy Bell: But it’s also knowing what your self-limitations are. It is so important for the organizations that you’re working with because they need you, but they need you to be able to do it. If you’re over extended, you’re not going to be able to give them what they need from you.
Delores Connors: Knowing your strengths in that space is important because that’s when you’re going to get your best service. Knowing what you really are capable of doing and knowing what you can’t.
Stormy Bell: That’s true. All right, I’m going to open it up to you. I want you to love on your organization or all of them. Just love on them. Let me hear you.
Delores Connors: I will start with TEN. Reading is just important. I don’t even know how to make it small and say that a book, a story; I’ll even break it down to a sentence. It can save somebody’s life. It can change somebody’s life. It is that transformative the power of words. TEN being out here in a community saying, listen do this. You can do this. You can be. You have support reading. Reading is important, it’s enjoyable, [and] it’s relaxing. It’s all those wonderful experiences that you get to have doing it. We’re here, we’re here for you. TEN I love because we are reminded of historically a practice that once we were not granted, I say we as in black people, illegally being allowed to read and here we are saying, yes we are. This is what we can do now and this is what you should enjoy doing. You can enjoy it. All the resources that you need we’re helping to support you to be able to do that. That’s my love for TEN. We’re on Facebook and Instagram. Write to Matter I just love because communication is again, extremely important. People who are hurting for whatever reason, to bring a bit of relief or comfort to them is really important.
Stormy Bell: Awesome. Well, I want to thank you so much for being my guest. It’s always a pleasure when we get to spend time together. Sometimes our schedules don’t allow that. I’ve seen you pop in and pop out, like was she even here? That’s awesome. Well, Dolores, thank you so much and I look forward to having you back on in the future.
Delores Connors: Of course. Thank you and thank you for this work. Thank you for reminding all of us of just how important this is and to stop and pause and think about how does this come together? Thank you for allowing this space for us.
Stormy Bell: Have a great day.
Show Notes & Links
Total Equity Now – www.totalequitynow.org
Write to Matter – www.facebook.com/write2matter
Delores Connors – www.deloresconnors.com
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